Just like Costanza

Today a bird flew into my leg. I mean that in the most literal sense possible -- a bird flew into my leg. I wasn't even moving, I was just sitting there.

It seems to be part of a recent trend in which wild animals completely ignore me. Last week, for the first time ever, I killed an animal with my car. It was a squirrel. It was unavoidable. Yesterday, another squirrel decided to dash in front of my car; running to its unfortunate and gruesome death beneath a spinning wheel of rubbery death. I offer no explanation of this sad turn of events, but would like to take the opportunity to request a renewal of the truce which I once enjoyed with nature:

Don't run in front of my car, and I will not run over you with 2500 lbs of steel.

That's the deal. You broke it first and I am willing to forgive your transgressions if you simply agree to honor the terms once more. I eagerly await your response. You know where to reach me.